Better communication skills should be a primary goal in your marriage. You and your husband or wife will need to learn how to communicate with each other about things that matter (and the things that don’t matter) without going to war with each other. The following are three small steps that you can implement in your marriage to help you with the goal of better communication.

1. How we listen is vital.

Learn to listen without taking offense to what is being said to you. We can all get our feelings hurt when we receive negative feedback, no matter how well the information is presented to us. James C. Petersen in his book Why Don’t We Listen Better, explains how we can  put this vital skill into practice. I have read this book myself and it has helped me to listen to my wife without letting what she has said to me, get me in an uproar.

2. Stop the name calling.

Name calling will not get your point across any better than just plainly saying what you have to say in a none combative way. Name calling will only increase the level of intensity of the conversation in a negative way. Try telling your wife or husband about how the topic that you are talking about is affecting you, such as I get really frustrated when you forget to kiss me when you leave for work. Mike Tucker wrote an article on stop the name calling, you can find a link to this article below.

3. Pray before you talk.

This by all means should be in the number one position because of its importance. However, I chose to make it the last step so that you could think about prayer with the first two steps already in mind. Inviting God into your marriage through prayer is where change begins. Ask God to give you the ability to speak the right words and to say them in the right way before presenting any challenging conversation to your husband or wife. You can also pray and ask that your husband or wife would receive what you have to say without difficulty.

There you have it, Better Communication in Three Small Steps

Consider the following scriptures –

1 Peter 5:7 (ESV) – casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Proverbs 15:1 (ESV) – A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 29:11 (ESV) – A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

Proverbs 10:19 (ESV) – When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Proverbs 27:15-16 (ESV) – 15 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; 16 to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.

Click here for the “Name Calling” article by Mike Tucker.