When husbands and wives are willing to disclose

questionable situations to one another, Great Things Happen!


We have all more than likely heard the statement “I didn’t mean for that to happen” said before. You have probably said it before and just might find yourself saying it again in the future. A variety of circumstances frequently happen that we somehow didn’t mean for them to happen, they just did.

Take for instance my son JJ, which is short for Joe Jr. He is always not meaning to hurt his younger siblings. The last time this happened he hit his brother in the head with a Lego block and as usual John, the one who got hit, came running up the stairs yelling as though he had been seriously injured. He probably could have won an academy award for his acting, just saying.

When I questioned JJ about what happened, his first response was “I didn’t mean for the block to hit him”. Whether he meant to hit his little brother or not, he did even though this may not have been his intention. He said he was actually trying to throw the block into a container while cleaning up. I guess somehow John’s head must have intercepted the block that was not meant to hurt him.


Joe Jr., like many of us started out doing something that he knew he should not have been doing. My wife and I have told him and his siblings on numerous occasions to stop throwing blocks before someone gets hurt. And like many of us they ignore the warnings and continue in their playful but risky behaviors until someone actually gets hurt and then their excuse is “I didn’t mean for that to happen”.

When we allow others outside of our spouses to flirt with us, rub our shoulders, hug us inappropriately, or make remarks that only our spouses should make, we open ourselves up for the “I didn’t mean for that to happen” to happen. When we ignore and do not disclose these questionable situations to our spouses and consider them to be minor instead of major details, they become commonplace. Before you know it, we may possibly begin to enjoy the attention and the good feelings that we get from those who are flirting with us, rubbing our shoulders, and saying things to us that shouldn’t be said. We as well may start laughing at the inappropriate hugs and remarks instead of being put off by them as we were before. God makes it rather clear in Proverbs 13:20 and 1 Corinthians 15:33 that these types of questionable situations will not end favorably unless we deal with them in an appropriate manner.


The manner in which we should deal with them is by first disclosing the questionable situations to our spouses if. Once your spouse is brought into the picture you are relieved of the duty of figuring out the situation by yourself. Your spouse can also help you validate whether or not the situation is a threat to your marriage. Your spouse should as well pray with you about what can be done about the situation if necessary. Just knowing that you spouse is aware of the situation and praying with you about it should help you avoid participating any further with anyone that may endanger the security of your marriage whether it be intentionally or unintentionally. If you don’t want something to happen, you must be willing to take the necessary steps to prevent it from happening.

You should always be willing and able to share the truth about any questionable situations with your spouse no matter how small the details might seem to you. Don’t let Satan creep in and disrupt or destroy your marriage. What you may consider to be minor details may very well turn out to be a major ordeal. Disclosing these minor details to your spouse could be the very thing that saves your marriage from being exposed to an affair that wasn’t meant to be.


Consider the following scriptures

Proverbs 10:9 – Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out. (ESV)

Proverbs 28:13 – He who conceals his sins doesn’t prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. (WEB)

1 Peter 5:8 – “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (ESV)

What are you doing to  keep yourself from saying “I didn’t mean for that to happen”?