Marriage Motivational

When husbands and wives put forth an effort to receive a passing grade when they are tested by God in specific areas of their marriages, Great Things Happen!

When God has pointed out specific areas in our marriages where He requires growth or change, you and I can be sure that He will test us for progress. He is not testing us for His benefit, but for the benefit of our marriage. We will never know when or how much we have changed or grown unless we are tested in the areas of our marriages where growth or change is required. So, the next time God uses the normal activities of your marriage to test your growth or change, you should strive to receive a passing grade.

Here is an example of how I applied this principle

Some time ago, God, through the voice of His Holy Spirit, told me I needed to stop raising my voice at my wife. He gave me specific instructions that I needed to following in order to make this a reality. I first had to read, understand, and apply 1 Peter 3:7. After doing that I had to read, understand, and apply Ephesians 4:26. I actually told my wife what I was doing and also wrote one of the verses down in a key area at work so that I could remember what I had to do.

So why did I have to read, learn, and apply these verses?

By having me do this, God was teaching me to honor my wife instead of dishonoring her with my loud unproductive voice. You’ve probably heard this voice before in your marriage or maybe you’ve even heard it coming from your own mouth. I had to learn that this was not the voice that God wanted me to use during times of conflict with my wife. At the time, I didn’t realize that I was dishonoring my wife when I raised my voice to get my point across to her. To me, along with many others who might yell, it was the natural thing to do when you wanted to passionately get your point across to your spouse who did not seem to get the point that you were trying to make. Through this God also taught me that I could have relayed the same message to my wife without raising my voice and that I would probably be more effective at getting my point across without the loud voice that wasn’t getting heard anyhow.

Let’s talk a little bit about anger

Being anger is not a sin by itself, even though some would think that is was. What makes anger sinful are the actions that follows the anger that’s not controlled and tempered by the person who is angry. Raising my voice at my wife had everything to do with me not controlling and tempering the stirred up anger that I had. God was requiring me to change how I reacted when I got upset with my wife by controlling and tempering my anger that caused me to yell at my wife. Even though I was going to get upset with my wife under certain situations, I still needed to honor her with my words and actions.

How am I doing with this now?

I still get tested in this area every once in a while and I must say that most of the time I pass the test, but every now and then I still hear that non-productive loud voice coming out of my mouth. When this happens I remind myself of what God has told me, apologize to my wife for dishonoring her and refill my heart with the scriptures that reminds me to control and temper my anger. I am also getting a lot better at not letting the words and actions of my wife upset me and she is helping me with this as well by monitoring her words and actions as well. I could have not come to this point without her cooperation, trusting The Word of God, relying on the power of the Holy Spirit to equip me to control and temper my anger, and praying for and with my spouse.

Consider the following scriptures –

Proverbs 17:3 “The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, But the LORD tests hearts.” (NASB)

Jeremiah 17:10 “”I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds.” (NASB)

Meditate on the following scriptures and afterwards you can pray the prayer that follows

Psalm 26:2 “Examine me, O LORD, and try me; Test my mind and my heart” (NASB)

Psalm 139:23-2423 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts 24 And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.” (NASB)

Heavenly Father I confess that I do not always pass the tests that you have given me. I also must confess that I sometimes purposely fail the test because of my selfishness. Help me in this area Father, teach me what I need to know and most of all give me the desire to pass the tests in the areas where I need to grow or change. It is in the name of Jesus your Son I pray, Amen.

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