01 Feb 3 Principles To Help You Respond Better
When you react to any of your spouse’s request in a negative manner, i.e. with a non-emotional and detached demeanor, it sends them a clear & uncaring message that says, I don’t value your request, there is something about your request that I don’t like, or I am not interested in what you are requesting for whatever reason.
Instead of reacting according to how you feel about your spouse’s request in a negative way, wouldn’t it be better if you could be open and honest about how you feel about your spouse’s request in a positive manner?
I surely hope that you can answer this question with a yes, because if not, there is a more serious problem looming in your marriage that needs to be addressed, evaluated, and resolved before you can move on to the practical side of this marriage replenishment resource.
If you need help with this, click here to schedule a courtesy (free) telephone consultation with one of our Marriage Replenishment Specialist.
Now, if you can indeed say that it would be better if you could respond in a positive, open and honest manner about how you feel about your spouse’s request, then you are traveling on the right road that leads all couples who travel on it to marriage greatness.
So, the next time you find yourself reacting in a non-emotional and detached manner (or in any other negative manner), rather it is voluntarily or involuntary, to a request that your spouse has made, consider putting the following three principles into action that will help you respond in a positive manner.
These 3 principles will also cause you to take your spouse into consideration as you intentionally respond in a way that your spouse will consider to be more kind, caring, and understanding.
1. Don’t let your pride or selfishness get in the way.
Be willing to share your true feelings about your spouse’s request, even when it will make you look less than perfect to your spouse, exposes an insecurity that may makes you look weak or superficial in the eyes of your spouse, or causes you to reveal a secret hostility that you have had for quite some time, towards your spouse or a particular portion of their request, if not the entire request.
Consider the following passages of scripture –
Proverbs 16:18(NASB) – Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling.
Proverbs 11:2(ESV) – When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.
James 4:6-7(ESV) – 6.But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 7.Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (Also Proverbs 18:12)
2. Ask God for help when you find yourself getting annoyed or frustrated.
Make sure that you invite God to participate in answering any of your spouse’s request that seems to annoy or frustrate you. God is open and willing to give you wisdom concerning how you should answer your spouse’s request, especially when any of your spouse’s request will cause you to respond in a negative manner (i.e. mechanical, defensive, or unsympathetic manner).
Consider the following passages of scripture –
James 1:5(ESV) – If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
Philippians 4:6-7(NASB) – 6.Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7.And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Hebrews 11:6(ESV) – And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.
3. Intentionally create an environment where your marriage can grow.
When you make an intentional effort to behave in a manner that is pleasing & honoring to God and your spouse, you create an environment where your marriage can grow and also reach its greatest potential. This is not the easiest thing to do, however, when we lean and depend on God to give us the wisdom, ability, and desire to do what it takes to create or foster an environment of growth in our marriage, it can happen.
Consider the following passages of scripture –
Ephesians 4:31-32(ESV) – 31.Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32.Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Proverbs 19:11(ESV) – Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 3:5-7(ESV) – 5.Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6.In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. 7.Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.
If you need help with being open and honest about how you feel in a positive manner click here to schedule a courtesy telephone consultation.
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